Scranton Kim
by Blondala
Summary: Crossover between The Office and Kath and Kim. When Kath and Phil move to Scranton, Kim comes along and gets a job as a receptionist in a local paper company. Involves JAM. Rated T for language and dialouge.
1. Day 1: The New Receptionist

I've been thinking of this story for a while, (this chapter is already a bit old if it's being posted) and I couldn't wait to start it! For those of you who don't watch Kath & Kim, I'll try to give clues to the story line so far. Don't worry, Office fans, there is a lot of office in this fic. Just bear with me while I explain how Kath and Kim got from Florida to Scranton in the first place.

Note: I do not own The Office, Kath & Kim, car trunks, suburbs, "posh closets," or the Viewmont Mall. If I did, DWANGELA would come to a head, Kath would become BFFs with Patsy and Eddie (but that's a different fic for a different category), and the Viewmont Mall would live up to its impression on The Office and get a fountain.

A/N: I edited to make it more readable. Didn't really notice my typos...sorry about that...

* * *

"Hey, everyone," said Michael, walking out of his office. "I have a great idea!" Everyone turned to him. The camera zoomed in on Jim, who was in the middle of a phone call.

"Listen, I'm going to have to call you back," said Jim. "Michael's got an idea."

"Oh boy," said Pam's voice on the other end. "Tell me if you survive."

"Will do," said Jim. He hung up and turned to Michael.

"I've noticed that there are some…hostile feelings towards Ryan, probably because he screwed all the stockholders over when he worked at Corporate."

"Michael, is this necessary…"

"Absofruitly," said Michael. "So now, we should all tell Ryan exactly how we feel about him. Kind of get it off our chests."

"I have no opinion towards Ryan whatsoever," volunteered Kelly.

"That is not what I was looking for…" said Michael. "I'll start."

"No, Michael, you really don't need to…"

"No, Ryan, I do," said Michael. He walked over to reception and patted Ryan on the back. "I love Ryan," said Michael. "I think he's the smartest, coolest, sexiest employee to ever walk through the doors of Dunder Mifflin…other than yours truly…" he smiled. Ryan stood up.

"Yeah, that's it, Ryan, show off that sexy bod!" yelled Michael.

* * *

Michael (TH): Yes, I do have a crush on Ryan, but in a totally straight way. You see, it's like when two guys like each other, more than most friends, and they're kind of attracted to each other, but it's not like they're gay or anything, because they have girlfriends... (Michael tears up) Or, at least, they used to…

* * *

"That's not what I meant to do," said Ryan. He started to pack his things. "I feel uncomfortable in this office, and I think it's below what dignity I have to work here any longer, and I'm quitting," said Ryan. He took his bag and walked towards the door.

"Oh," he said, "and (bleep) you, Jim Halpert," he said. Jim jimmed at the camera. Ryan walked out the door.

"Great," said Michael. "Now where am I going to find another sexy receptionist…"

* * *

"Well, that's the last of it," said Phil, closing the trunk of the car. He sighed. "Glad that's over, Kath _Knight._" He reached his arm around Kath's waist and pulled her in for a quick kiss.

"Glad what's over?" asked Kim, who had just stepped into the driveway in her pajamas, chewing a wad of gum. When she saw her mother and her mother's new husband in a liplock, she winced. "Oh, God, please say you guys aren't making out again," she said obnoxiously.

Kath looked at her daughter, half smiling. "What is so wrong with me being in a relationship with a loving, handsome…" she got lost in Phil's eyes. "Sexy beast of a man." They kissed again. Kim exaggerated a gag. Kath glared at her.

"What?" she asked, truly annoyed this time.

"Nothing, it's just that you guys are so _old_," said Kim.

"Well, never mind what you think," said Kath. "Phil and I are going on a trip."

"Where?" asked Kim. She blew a large bubble with her gum.

"It doesn't matter," said Kath. She walked up to her daughter. "Maybe you should use this opportunity to try to patch things up with Craig."

"Ew, no way," said Kim. "That's so over, it's like it's like Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston. I mean, that thousand dollar puppy scheme was cool for a while, but now that dumb bitch is pregnant with a bunch of mutts and it's just lame."

"Well, tough, because we're leaving," said Kath. "After you, my handsome prince," she said to Phil, motioning to the car.

"No, after you, my leading lady," said Phil. He opened the door to the passenger seat, patting her rear end as she entered the car. Kim gagged, then noticed something.

"Hey, is that a sign in our yard?"

"Bye, Kimmy!" yelled Kath out the window of the car. Phil got in and they drove away.

* * *

Eleven hours and five hundred fifty miles later, Kath was still sitting in the passenger's seat of Phil's car.

"You know," said Kath, "It is so good to be on the road, away from it all."

"My lady," said Phil, "You are going to love Scranton."

"Really?" said Kath. "Because I don't know. Isn't it supposed to be cold there?"

"I'm sure someone as hot as you will melt all the snow in Scranton in a minute," said Phil. They kissed. "But, yeah, it is colder there."

"Oh well," said Kath. "Anything if it means I get to stay with my Phil!"

"I got us a great apartment," said Phil. "Two bathrooms, a kitchen…" he gave Kath a suggestive look. "One point five bedrooms…"

"Ugh," said a familiar voice from the trunk of the car. "This is disgusting! I can't take it anymore!" Kath turned to see Kim leaning over the back seat.

"Kim!" she yelled. "How'd you get here?"

"You guys stopped for Sushi and I climbed in then," said Kim. She was popping a piece of gum, perhaps the same piece as earlier. "I _knew _you were moving without me. You know that sign in the yard? It said so."

"Wow, you're a real Einstein," said Kath sarcastically. Then she turned to Phil.

"Phil, what are we going to dooooooo," she moaned.

"Not a problem," said Phil. "Kim can stay in the point five bedroom until we figure out what else to do."

"Sounds cool," said Kim.

"We're not done talking about this, young lady," said Kath sternly.

"Like, whatever," said Kim. "I'm missing, like, ten shows right now."

"That's right, all my soaps were on last night," said Kath. "Darn it! I can't believe I missed Gossip Girl!"

_Walkin' down the street and a man tries to get your business…_

* * *

"We're home!" said Phil, opening the door to the new apartment. Kath gasped.

"It's _perfect,_" she said. "I mean, look at this wallpaper!" The living room was covered in zebra print paper.

"I knew you'd love it," said Phil. "I saw the pictures online."

"This is our new home?" said Kim suspiciously.

"No, this is _our_ new home," said Kath, motioning to herself and Phil. "This is where you'll be staying until you can either get back to Florida or find your own place."

"But I'm a trophy wife," said Kim, "I'm not supposed to make money, I'm supposed to spend it!"

"Well, tough, because I'm going to find you a job." Kath looked around for a newspaper. She found one that Phil had bought and flipped to the help wanted section.

"More like the hell wanted section," said Kim. Kath shushed her, then gasped.

"It's perfect for you!" said Kath. "Look! 'Receptionist wanted, all you have to do is answer phones and look hot, please call Michael Scott at 570-555-9876'!"

"Yay," said Kim sarcastically. "Whatever. I'm going to my room." Kim looked around. "Where is my room?"

"Kim," said Kath, "You're going to be sleeping in here." She led Kim to a door in the hallway, opened it, and nudged her in.

"But Mom," said Kim, "It's a closet!" It was barely twelve square feet.

"It's a _posh _closet," said Kath, closing the door. "Have fun!"

* * *

All was quiet in the office. Michael was in his office playing solitaire, Jim was at his desk playing solitaire, Kelly was reading up on Britney, and Dwight and Andy were having a staring contest. Suddenly, someone knocked on the door. Michael walked out of his office.

"That must be the new receptionist," he said. He opened the door. Hello, and welcome to Dunder Mifl-oh!" he exclaimed. Everyone in the office stared.

Standing there was a black-haired firl in daisy dukes and a button down shirt that had been tied to only cover her bra.

Somewhere in the back of the office, Creed whistled.

* * *

Ah, crossovers are fun…please review!


	2. Day 2: Socializing

Sorry about the looooooooooooooooong break…schoolwork and tests and a recent three-day soap opera kind of slowed me down. Anyway, hope everyone had a good couple of weeks, hope everyone who can vote _voted_, regardless of whom for. But that's over and done and there's no point in gloating if you voted for Obama or whining if you voted for McCain, so PLEASE no political comments in your reviews. Please.

On a totally different note, thank you to DragonWignedHanyou for just being awesome and helping me this week with my personal crap. Lissa rocks and you should read her fics. (BTW, I wrote Brownies. She posted it because it would get more readers that way.)

* * *

_Of course I love Kim, _thought Kath as she poured herself a bowl of cereal in her new, tiny kitchen. _But don't I deserve a fresh start, too? _She put down the cereal and poured some skim milk into the bowl. _After all, she should be grateful that I was as nice to her as I was. I missed at least five dinner parties making sure she didn't leave the house dressed in anything too revealing. _She put away the milk and checked the clock. _God, it's already seven. I have to wake Kim up. _She walked towards Kim's room. _I really am becoming momish again, aren't I? _She opened the door to Kim's room and poked her head in.

"Kim, yet up!" she yelled. Kim threw a pillow at her mother.

"Very funny, young lady," said Kath, "But that behavior doesn't fly in the Knight household."

"What_ever_, moaned Kim from inside. Kath stepped out of the doorway and Kim emerged, her hair a mess and her eyes puffy, wearing a white tank top and blue shorts. She walked ten steps and collapsed on the couch.

"What time is it?" Kim groaned.

"It's seven," said Kath. "Now get dressed. You have to go to work!"

"Nuh-uh, work doesn't start till nine," said Kim.

"But you have to get ready!"

"Yeah, so I'll get dressed at nine. That's work," said Kim.

"Kim, you're lucky I'm even letting you stay here. Now get dressed and go to work!"

"Why did we even move to stupid Scranton anyway?" asked Kim.

"_Phil and I _moved here because _you_ made Phil lose his job at the mall so he had to move his sandwich business here," said Kath.

"So I overreacted a _little _that day," said Kim. "But what kind of shoe store doesn't have the zebra print platform heel in a size ten?"

"Kim, you screamed, knocked over six displays, and ate an entire box of donuts you stole!"

"I was hungry," said Kim. Kath tensed up in frustration, then took a deep breath and calmed down.

"Well, it doesn't matter now, because Phil's moving his business to the Viewmont Mall," said Kath. She checked the clock again. "And now its seven fifteen and you'll be late for your second day of work. Not a smart move, Kimbo."

"Fine, whatever," said Kim, dragging herself back to her room. "Now what should I wear?"

* * *

"Your name's Kim, right?" said a female voice near the reception desk.

"That's the name, don't wear it out," said Kim, not bothering to look up and see who it was. She was too busy concentrating on her nails, which she was painting a bright neon orange.

"Well, I don't know if you've ever worked in an office before, Kim, but we have a pretty strict dress code here."

Kim looked up to find the source of the voice, a petite, pale, stern-looking blond woman, dressed in a gray turtleneck sweater.

"What do you mean, 'dress code'?" asked Kim. The blond woman glanced at Kim's outfit, a too-tight tube top and a skirt so short that her underwear could be seen at times.

"Well, here's a basic rule," said the blond woman. "If you look like you just came back from selling yourself on the street, it's time to put some more clothes on." The woman's mouth showed the slightest hint of a smirk.

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Angela: And I thought _Pam _was sluttish.

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Kim sneered and went back to her nails.

"Well, I think it's cute," said another voice. Kim looked up to see a brown-skinned girl with her hands on her hips, talking to the blond woman.

"You would," said the blond woman with an air of superiority. She walked away, and sat at a desk in the farthest corner of the office.

"That's Angela. Don't mind her," the dark skinned girl said, walking up to reception.

"Is she always that bitchy?" said Kim.

"Almost, except she's actually a little nice-ish whenever she comes back from the warehouse. I don't get it either." The girl laughed. "Anyway, that top is _so_ cute! Where'd you get it?"

"Oh, I got this at the mall," said Kim.

"Really? I just went and I didn't see anything like it," said the girl. "But I did get this top. They only had one left in my size. Can you believe it?"

"Oh, is that from Victoria's Secret?" asked Kim, standing up to see the top. "That's so weird, because I was just about to get that exact top, but then my mom walked in and she was all, 'Kim, where have you been? We were supposed to meet Phil half an hour ago!' She made such a big deal out of it. It wasn't like it was the actual wedding or anything, just the rehearsal. How stupid is that?"

The girl laughed again. "You're so funny," she said. "I'm Kelly." She smiled. "This is so cool! Now I have a boyfriend _and _a BFF and they both work here!"

"Who's your boyfriend? Is he hot?" asked Kim.

"Yeah, he's soooo cute, and he's really nice, except he, like, broke my heart two years ago, but I totally forgave him and we're back together!" said Kelly. The phone rang.

"Does he have any friends he can hook me up with?" asked Kim. The phone rang again.

"I don't know. Hey, isn't that a ring on your finger?" The phone rang again.

"Yeah, but we're not together or anything. I mean, he thinks we are, but it's so over," said Kim. Ring, ring.

"I think you're supposed to answer it," said Kelly.

"Who, me?" asked Kim. "Alright," she said hesitantly. She picked up the phone. "Who's this?" She listened, then extended the phone to Kelly. "It's for you," she said.

"Can't you just transfer it?" asked Kelly.

"I don't know how," said Kim. "Here, take it." Kelly took the phone.

* * *

"How's work going?" said Kath's voice on the other end.

"It sucks!" said Kim rather loudly, holding the phone with her ear and shoulder while she looked up celebrity gossip. "You know how I left Craig because he expected me to do stuff? Well, this is worse!" The camera turns to everyone in the office to see that they can all hear the conversation and are trying not to listen.

"Oh, come on, Kimmy, it's not that bad," said Kath.

"Yes it is! I have to sit at a desk all day and the phone keeps ringing and I have to be all, "Dunder Mifflin, this is Kim." Who talks like that?" The camera zoomed in on Jim, who appeared to be muttering to himself but was having some difficulty with the volume of Kim's conversation.

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Jim: Kim is the new receptionist, and she's alright, but she's…not exactly the voice I want to be hearing at reception. Actually, Pam _would_be back right about now, but she failed her design class and decided to stay in New York and retake it. So we're back to using the Bluetooth, and…so much for a short engagement.

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"The people here are_ nuts,_" said Kim, still on the phone. "There's this blond lady who's a total uptight bitch." Angela glared from over the top of the cubicle. "Plus, this weird old guy tried to ask me out."

"Well, I told ya, you should have stayed with Craig," said Kath.

"Ew. Craig's a loser," said Kim. She looked around the office and her eyes landed on Jim, who she hadn't noticed before. "Wait, hold up. I just spotted a total hottie." Andy looked up.

"Kim, you're married, I don't think you should be dating."

"I'm gonna have to call you back," said Kim. She put down the phone. She flipped her hair, pushed up her chest, and walked over to Jim's desk. Andy cursed to himself.

"So anyway," said Jim to apparently no one. "Life here is…" Kim sat on his desk and crossed her legs.

"Hey," she said in her most seductive tone.

"Who's that, Jim?" said Pam's voice, a little suspiciously.

"It's uh…," said Jim.

"So you're one of those quiet types, huh? I can dig that," said Kim.

"Jim, who is that?" asked Pam.

"It's the new receptionist," said Jim.

"Please, call me Kim," said Kim. "And you are…?"

"Jim," said Jim. "Sorry, Pam, that's just…"

"Who's Pam?" said Kim.

"_I'm _Pam," said Pam, loud enough so that Kim could hear.

"Who said that?" asked Kim. "Never mind," she said. She leaned in close to Jim.

"So, is there a _Mrs. _Jim?" she asked.

"Yeah, Jim, is there a Mrs. Jim?" asked Pam.

"Uh, I'm engaged," said Jim.

"So, I'm married," said Kim, holding up her ring finger. "Doing anything tonight?"

"Jim, what's going on?" asked Pam.

"Nothing, nothing, just…" Jim stopped, realizing that Kim thought he was talking to her.

"Not…I didn't mean…"

"Jim, I have to go," said Pam. "Maybe you can talk to the new receptionist to pass the time."

"Pam, don't - "said Jim, but Pam hung up. He took the Bluetooth out of his ear.

"Who was that?" asked Kim.

"That was my fiancé," said Jim, "And now she thinks I'm cheating or something. Thanks for that, Kim."

"_That_ was your fiancé?" asked Kim. "She sounds like a real drag."

"Actually, she's great, and now she doesn't trust me," said Jim.

"Wait, you actually _like_ her?" asked Kim. "That sucks." She went back to her desk. Jim sighed and held his head in his hands.

"Bummer, dude," said Andy.

* * *

Come on, you knew Kim and her Kim-ness would screw things up. This fic is, of course, pretending that Pam decided to stay in New York, so let's all just imagine that she's repeating the course, I saw the promo for the next episode…Someone's coming back, and I'm already planning their appearance in this fic.


	3. Day 3: InterStaff Relations

Wow, it's been way too long since I've updated. Sorry about that. But I'm back.

Too Many Phones is on hold because I just can't think of any Liz Lemon-like things to write. I'm trying, but it's just not coming. I even just read the Tina Fey interview in Vanity Fair and I can't think of anything. So sorry, and I'll try to think of something, but it may take a while…

* * *

"Mom, I hate working!" yelled Kim. "And I hate dressing like this!" She emerged from her room in a white shirt and black skirt that came down to a record length for her - five inches above the knee.

"Well, you don't have to stay here," said Kath, power walking around the apartment.

"Yeah, I do," said Kim. "But why _here? _Scranton's like, the worst city EVAR!!!"

"Oh, Kimmy, it's not that bad," said Kath. "There's an ice-skating rink and a mall and everything. You act like it's the middle of nowhere!"

"Because it _is!_" said Kim. "Who ever heard of Pennsylvania? And it's so fricking cold!"

"That's because it's December,"said Kath.

"I hate it here, Mom!" said Kim. "Can't we just move back to Florida?"

"_I _can't, but _you_ can," said Kath.

"But we only have one car, duh," said Kim.

"I thought of that," said Kath. She walked into the kitchen, opened a drawer, and pulled out a strip of paper.

"Here," she said, handing it to Kim. "It's your plane ticket." Kim squinted at it.

"Where's yours?" she asked.

"I'm staying here with my Phil Bear," said Kath. "And you should be going home to your Craig." Kim's started to pout.

"You're getting rid of me?" asked Kim innocently. "After all I've been through?"

"Been through! What have you been through?" laughed Kath. "You've led a charmed life, missy."

"Nuh uh," said Kim. "I left home and climbed in the back of an SUV to be with you, and this is how you treat me? I'm your daughter."

"You're twenty six!" yelled Kath.

"Whatever!" said Kim. "I'm not leaving."

"Fine," said Kath. "But you have to go to work."

"Why?" asked Kim. "I'll just be home again anyway."

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"There you are," said Dwight, approaching Kim as she walked in. "You're late. Fourteen minutes and," he checked his watch. "Twenty two, twenty three, twenty four…"

"Whatever, I'm here now," said Kim. At the sound of her voice, Kevin and Creed looked up. Both were disappointed.

"I miss her old clothes," muttered Kevin.

"She's still a whore," said Angela. Kim looked up.

"Hey, I heard that!" said Kim. She went to Angela's corner of the office. "What's your deal?"

"Excuse me," said Angela, "I just don't think it's appropriate to dress like a prostitute in the office."

"I don't see what's wrong with it," said Creed. "It's a dignified profession."

"Is Britney Spears 'inappropriate?' Is Paris Hilton 'inappropriate?' Because they don't dress like they just came back from a funeral!" Meanwhile, on the other end of the office, Jim was talking to himself again.

"So, yeah, things are pretty crazy around here."

"I can hear it," said Pam's voice through the Bluetooth. "Has Michael come in yet?"

"No, not yet," said Jim. "But I don't think it can get much weirder than this."

"I don't know about that," said Pam. Jim chuckled.

"Hey," added Pam. "About yesterday…"

"Pam, look, there's nothing going on, I swear. She's just…"

"I know," said Pam. "I was apologizing. I guess I was just paranoid for some reason. Anyway, I should have trusted you, and I'm sorry."

"You are forgiven," said Jim in a mock-dramatic voice.

"But this is my formal apology," said Pam, "so don't give me crap about this later."

"I don't think I've ever heard you swear before," said Jim.

"Only when there's no better word," said Pam. Just then, Michael walked in.

"Hel-lo, dahlings," he said in a horrendous British accent. Jim jimmed.

"Five bucks says he just saw Spinal Tap," said Pam.

"Mine goes to eleven!" said Michael for no apparent reason, hanging his coat on the rack.

"I'll pay up this weekend," said Jim.

"Jim, stop talking to yourself, it's really creeping me out," said Michael.

"Yeah, Jim, stop talking to yourself," said Dwight. "It's the first sign of insanity, you know. Next you start taking food out of dumpsters and putting it in doggy bags." The camera flashed to Creed, who slid the bag he had been eating out of under the desk and hoped no one would see.

"Thanks, Dwight," said Jim. "And I'm not talking to myself, by the way."

"Oh, I get it!" said Kim. She walked over to Jim. "You're talking to that boring fiancé of yours, right?"

"Is that Kim again?" said Pam. "Put me in her ear."

"You've been talking on the phone during work?" said Dwight. "That's against company policy. Fire him, Michael!"

"No one is getting fired!" yelled Michael. Everyone shut up except Kim, who walked over to Jim.

"You know, you can really do a lot better," she said.

"Put me in her ear, Jim," said Pam. "I have some things Kim needs to hear."

"Here, let me take care of that for you," said Kim. Before Jim could bat her arm away, she grabbed the Bluetooth from his ear and threw it across the room.

Jim stared at Kim, speechless. Everyone was staring. Phyllis was looking from over her shoulder. Angela was glaring over the cubicle. Even Creed was looking, although if you traced his line of sight it probably would have led to Kim's hindquarters.

"Hey Kim," yelled Kelly, breaking the silence. "Check out these shoes I just bought over the Internet!"

"Ooh, lemme see!" said Kim. She ran over to the annex, stepping on the Bluetooth and crushing it. Jim stared at it, then looked up to Michael.

"You have got to do something about her."

"God, Jim, do you have to be so...ugh. Forget it." Michael sighed. "And you know what? I don't think there's anything wrong with her. I think she's great. She really adds this…this quality to the office."

"Boobs," said Creed.

"Maybe," said Michael. He walked back to his office. Jim sat there, dumbfounded.

"Serves you right for stealing company money," said Dwight.

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Kim was finally back at her desk by about eleven a.m. But she wasn't typing or making copies or answering phones; she was eating donuts.

"Suddenly, her cell phone rang. She sprang to answer it.

"Yeah, it's Kim," she said.

"First time for everything," muttered Angela.

"Craig, leave me alone!" she said. "We're done, remember? I dumped you." She listened for a bit. "Well, I liked you back when you were going to have _money,_ but then that bitch got pregnant with mutts…" she waited. "So what if it was my fault? You promised me a thousand dollars a puppy!" She waited again. "No, Craig, I don't want one of the bastard mutt puppies. All it's going to do is drool and poop. They don't even know how to use a credit card. How stupid can you get?" She rolled her eyes. "Whatever, Craig. Later." She hung up. "Not!"

"Who was that?" asked Andy.

"Oh, that was my husband," said Kim.

"You separated or something?"

"Andy!" yelled Angela.

"What, it's not like I'm going to _cheat,_" said Andy. "I'm just curious." Andy turned to Kim. "That's my fiancé. Pretty hot, huh?"

"Whatever," said Kim. She went back to her donuts.

Meanwhile, Jim sat at his desk, phone pressed to his ear. On the other end, the phone kept ringing. Finally, he heard a voice.

"Hey, it's Pam," said the voice on the other end.

"Pam, look, I am really sorry about the whole-"

"I can't answer the phone because I'm probably in class or something, and the teachers here have a really strict 'no phones' policy. It sucks. So leave a message, and I'll get back to you." Beep. Jim put down the phone.

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"Hey, Kim," said a male voice approaching reception. Kim looked up to see a somewhat balding man with reddish hair and shadows under his eyes.

"What do you want," said Kim, staring at the computer screen. Unlike most people in the office, she hadn't yet gotten the hang of solitaire. Too many numbers. Instead, she was reading a fascinating, in-depth article about where Britney Spears gets her hair done.

"I'm Toby," he said. "I'm from HR."

"Whatever," said Kim.

"Anyway, it's just about the way you've been dressing," said Toby. "It's kind of disruptive."

"Well, I'm not going to dress like a nun," said Kim.

"Of course not," said Toby. "Just maybe some longer skirts, a sweater, something more appropriate."

"Why don't you be more appropriate, Toby," said Michael, stepping out of his office.

"Michael, I don't think I'm being…"

"Oh, well, guess what! You are," said Michael.

"Are you feeling okay?" asked Phyllis.

"No one asked you, Phyllis," said Michael.

"Michael, please, I-"

"Your face!" yelled Michael.

"Michael, that makes no sense," said Toby.

"You know what makes no sense? Your face makes no sense," said Michael. "I'm going back to work. You disgust me." Michael walked back into his office.

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Toby: Michael's been going through mood swings lately…he's been ruder than usual.

(Michael taps on the window.)

Michael: Get back to work! No one wants to hear about your stupid opinion, you stupid…fart.

(He walks away.)

Toby: I should have hit him when I had the chance.

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Kim came home two hours late and carrying three shopping bags.

"Hey, Kimster," said Phil. "Where ya been?"

"Out," said Kim. She sat on the couch with her shopping bags and started pulling out stuff.

"Kim!" said Kath. "That is no way to talk to Phil!"

"Whatever," said Kim.

"And where were you? You're two hours late!"

"I went to the mall with Kelly," said Kim. "Check out this cute top I bought!"

"I don't care how cute it is," said Kath. She walked over to Kim, who was holding up an orange half-shirt with red applique flowers. "Although I must say it's very cute."

"Isn't it?"

"Yeah. What store was that from?"

"One of those kid shops. They have the cutest stuff if you look in the really small sizes."

"I should try that," said Kath. Her tone changed. "But Kim, if you're going to live here you can't just stay out without calling me!"

"What are you, my mother?" said Kim, taking the shopping bags into her "bedroom."

* * *

Sorry if not enough happened in that chapter. It was basically a setup for the next chapter.


End file.
